Wanna Be a Billionaire? Then Move to China; Rainbows and Unicorns!: Twitter Might Finally Churn Out a Profit; Nike’s Game Plan Leaves No Room for the “Undifferentiated​”

Something tells me we’re doing it wrong…

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Image courtesy of Stuart Miles/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

There’s a new report out published by UBS and PwC, called the Billionaires Insights report that tracked 1,542 billionaires all over the world and their combined $6 trillion. And while some might quickly assume that the United States might hold the top spot for the billionaires club, they would be wrong. As it turns out, Asia has the most billionaires, topping out at 637, whereas the United States can only boast 563 billionaire residents. In fact, every two days a new billionaire is minted in Asia, with China having the most.  But, to be fair, the wealth of the U.S. billionaires is much higher, coming in at $2.8 trillion, compared to Asia’s $2 trillion. So six in one, half dozen of the other, I suppose. Except not for long. The report also mentioned that the wealth of Asia and its billionaires will far surpass the U.S. in four years. One of the biggest “problems” listed for these poor billionaires face is how they intend to pass on their wealth. Rich people problems. But somehow they manage, whether they choose to pass it on to their heirs or leave it to charitable organizations. Decisions decisions. Of course, the more people the billionaires leave behind, the more complicated things get. But such is life when one is saddled with so much friggin’ cash.

Fairytales do come true…

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Image courtesy of Stuart Miles/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

There’s a lovely rumor going around that maybe, possibly Twitter just might crank out its first-ever profit. We just need to wait until next quarter to see if that’s actually going to happen. But it’s not outside the realm of possibility since the social media company did make a major push to cut expenses while engaging in deals with other companies that don’t have them relying so heavily on advertising. Wall Street, at least is super stoked, causing shares of Twitter to soar 16% to over $20 per share.  And that company definitely needs all the share-soaring it can get. Twitter’s revenue was $590 million, a 4% dip from last year at this time but still decent since expectations were for $587 million. The other big news on the Twitter front is that the company made a very big mistake and is apparently trying to make amends for it. It seems that somehow an error was made in how user base was calculated for the last few years. But the company did revise the previous estimates, that had those numbers coming in a bit smaller than what was previously reported. Twitter insists that the difference amounted to less than one percent and that’s the story they’re sticking to. Their monthly active users, by the way, are up to 330 million and that number is supposed to be accurate, just disappointing since analysts expected that number to be 330.4 million. Oh well, Can’t win ’em all.

You’re out!

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Nike’s annoyed at under-performing retailers and has put them on notice. Which is definitely one way to make enemies. But hey, Nike is all about competing and if a struggling retailer is unable to “just do it,” then they’re out. Because Nike has a plan – a big one – that’s got them trying to hit $50 billion in sales by 2020. Nike wants to just do it, naturally. However, Wall Street is not so sure it can. I have yet to decide who my money’s on at this point in time. Apparently, 40% of Nike’s wholesale business comes from “differentiated” retailers and they want to up that to 80%.  Those retailers have a way of presenting the merchandise that gets customers wanting to spend their money at those establishments. According to Nike brass, “undifferentiated mediocre retail” just won’t cut the mustard and can expect a nasty goodbye within five years. Ouch. Nordstrom and Foot Locker apparently have nothing to worry about. For now. There were some obvious omissions, though, including Macy’s and JC Penney. Just saying. Whatever Nike has in store for those “undifferentiated” retailers doesn’t seem to bother Wall Street. Investors sent the stock up 3.5% today.

The Labor of LIBOR; Coal Company Not Energized by Obama’s New EPA Policies; Disgraced Bitcoin-er Busted

Don’t bank on it…

Image courtesy of iosphere/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of iosphere/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

From the most hallowed banking institutions of UBS and Citigroup, disgraced banker Thomas Hayes will now make his way to the halls of a correctional institution, all thanks to his role in the LIBOR scandal. On trial in the UK, Hayes pleaded not guilty, although jurors felt otherwise and now gets to spend the next fourteen years in prison contemplating his misdeeds. The U.S. already charged Hayes back in 2012 for his misdeeds at UBS and the Royal Bank of Scotland and a number of banks already had to cough up $9 billion in penalties over their involvement in rigging the benchmarks. Hayes was found guilty on all 8 counts of conspiracy to defraud. And it’s not everyday a trader gets convicted for rigging rates on the London Interbank Offered Rates. In fact, Hayes has the dubious distinction of becoming the first person to be convicted in the scandal, which makes sense, since he was apparently the ringleader for more than a dozen other brokers and traders who participated in messing with global rates for mortgages, loans and credit cards just so that they could profit. Those misdeeds affected some $350 trillion in global financial markets. Including ours. Talk about rude.

So un-coal…

Image courtesy of dan/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of dan/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Battered and broken is just one way to describe the coal industry as President Obama just announced the latest EPA policies which are supposedly going to reduce greenhouse gas emissions 30% by 2030. And of course that is splendid news. Just not for Alpha Natural Resources who made its own announcement today: bankruptcy. The natural gas boom combined with the new EPA rules have dealt quite the blow to the second biggest coal producer. While the company has over $10 billion in assets with around 8,000 employees, it also needs to ditch some $3.3 billion in debt. The once powerful coal supplier had to close more than 80 mines since 2011 as the shale boom began to take effect. And who can blame shale? After all, it is a cheaper, less polluting energy source.

Bit-fraud…

Image courtesy of Victor Habbick/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Victor Habbick/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Mark Karpeles, the disgraced head of collapsed Tokyo bitcoin exchange, Mt. Gox, has, un-shockingly, been arrested in Japan on suspicion of (gasp) fraud. Who would have thought. Apparently, Karpeles falsified documents and manipulated the computer system over thirty times in an effort to fatten up his bank account by about a million bucks. If the 30 year old Karpeles is found guilty, he might just become pen pals (no pen-pun intended) with Thomas Hayes, except the French-born Karpeles would be idling his incarcerated says in Japan. If you recall, 850,000 bit coins – equal to about $480 million at the time –  went missing under Karpeles’ watch. But wouldn’t ya know it, 200,000 bit coins were subsequently recovered by Karpeles, who must have remembered where he had apparently misplaced them. As for the remaining missing cyber-currency, well, Karpeles conveniently blames the theft on a “bug” from a cyber-attack. You don’t say…

Banks Behaving Badly Get Slapped with Billion Dollar Fines; Target’s Earnings Bullseye; Hormel Ears on All That Spam

Busted…

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The fun is over for a group of foreign exchange traders who brazenly dubbed themselves “The Cartel” and went about manipulating the price euros and dollars to score some extra cash. Now, because of them, five major banks have to shell out over $5 billion in settlement fees. Citicorp, J.P. Morgan Chase, Barclays and Royal Bank of Scotland all admitted their fiscal misdeeds that began in December of 2007. UBS pleaded guilty to one count of wire fraud and has to pay over half a billion dollars in fines. But the Swiss bank dodged some other penalties and gained conditional immunity for being the first to report on the criminal activities taking place. These forex traders would share confidential information about their clients’ orders and then plan out trades that would conveniently boost their own profits. Entrance into the group was by invitation only and one participant said at one point, “If you ain’t cheating, you ain’t trying.” Charming, huh? The resourceful plan proved quite profitable until January 2013 when investigators finally honed in on what was going on. Even though no criminal charges were brought, as per the settlement agreement, investigations into other foreign exchange issues are not going away any time soon.  And of course, plenty of traders were given their walking papers. As for the movie rights…well, I suppose you can expect to see this play out in theaters within a few years. No sense in Hollywood not profiting off this, right?

Hit it…

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Image courtesy of jscreationzs/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Seems like only yesterday when Target was rocked by a data breach that cost the retailer tens of million of dollars. Then there was the fiasco, also known as “Target’s Canadian Expansion,” that saw the retailer pulling the plug on the 133 stores located there. But those not so minor hiccups seem to be water on the fiscal bridge as Target released its latest earnings that hit their mark and saw its third straight quarter of sales growth, especially in home goods and apparel. So how good were these earnings? How does a a 52% increase in profits sound? That’s right, Target scored $635 million in net income, up from $418 million just one year ago, gaining $1.10 per share. Analysts were only predicting $1.02 per share. Clearly, those analysts were not amongst the many consumers lined up at five in the morning hoping to score some limited edition Lilly Pulitzer merchandise. Revenue was also up 2.8% which had everybody on Wall Street marveling at the fact that Target’s great earnings put Wal-Mart’s not great earnings to shame. Especially because sales at Target were up 38%, which is about double what Wal-Mart pulled in.

Talking turkey…

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Image courtesy of vectorolie/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Hormel, the original Spam maker, long before it was known for crowding our inboxes, just released its earnings and there’s good news. And bad news. The good news is that profit for the company increased 29% to $180.2 million with sales of $2.3 billion. The company pulled in 67 cents per share while analysts expected 62 cents per share. You may not be eating Spam, but somebody out there is. Besides, Hormel, being the largest meat processor in the United States, makes tons of other products including Roast Beef Hash and, I kid you not, Wholly Guacamole. In case you didn’t realize, Hormel’s got big business going in the refrigerated foods industry. The company also has a Jennie-O turkey store business, which brings us to the bad news: bird flu. There is a new bird-flu outbreak and if you want to sound sophisticated you can refer to it as avian influenza. Not only is this expected to take a big bite out of Hormel’s numbers, but it is also predicted that this outbreak is going to wreak havoc on the rest of the turkey industry as well. Forgive me if I just put an extremely early damper on your Thanksgiving.

Bad Credit Suisse, Dick’s Not Feeling Sporty and Home Depot Has Room For Improvement

Plea…pretty pretty plea!!!

Image courtesy of digitalart/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of digitalart/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

It’s official. Credit Suisse (CS) entered a guilty plea for assisting – or perhaps the word is abetting? – Americans with avoiding paying Uncle Sam. Or as the Feds call it, Tax Evasion. The Swiss bank has been engaged in this troublesome little activity through 2009. Now it has to fork over $2.6 billion to the Federal Government and New York Financial regulators. One glaring omission from this long-awaited plea agreement was a list of names of the alleged evaders. But no dice even though their fellow Swiss banking institution, UBS, (UBS), did have to give up a list of names of their alleged perps/client list when it pled its guilt back in 2009. It also had to pay a fine of over $780 million in penalties (but really it was handing over that list of names that put a crimp in their operation). Credit Suisse now holds the dubious distinction of being the largest financial institution in twenty years to enter a guilty plea. Classy.

Not exactly par for the course…

Image courtesy of Gualberto107/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Gualberto107/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Dick’s Sporting Goods (DKS) wasn’t playing around when they announced their earnings today. Dick’s, which also owns Golf Galaxy blamed its golf and hunting sales that threw its shares down almost 15%. Since the start of the year Dick’s watched the value of its shares fall 23%. And while they were hoping for their value to bounce back the opposite happened and they kept falling and falling and… While it earned $1.44 billion in sales which was an almost 8% jump over the same period last year, it still missed the Street’s mark of $1.46 billion. Dick’s currently has 566 stores in the US.

Never stop improving…

Image courtesy of Vichaya Kiatying-Angsulee/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Vichaya Kiatying-Angsulee/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Home Depot (HD) sales didn’t exactly nail Wall Street’s expectations but don’t expect anyone to get too worked up over it. Analysts predicted $19.97 billion. But oh well. The home  improvement outfitter only delivered $19.69 billion. Which, by the way was almost a 3% increase over last year. Naturally, it wouldn’t feel right if the word “winter” wasn’t mentioned in the context of how it affected their fiscal quarter and was responsible for its missed expectations. So for good measure I’ll say it. Winter. There. That particularly nasty little season that, like a very rude guest, refused to leave quietly, apparently affected the start of the spring selling season. But the Atlanta based retailer called its May sales “robust” which, in my most humble opinion is quite a fitting adjective for a company like Home Depot.