Yellen at Congress, JP Morgan Chase-ing Earnings and Johnson & Johnson Sits Pretty at the Top

Cooing Wall Street…

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Fed Chairwoman Janet Yellen graced Congress today with her presence and arguably dovish remarks during her semi-annual report on monetary policy. True, her comments  may not have been the stuff HBO series are made of but they did rattle Wall Street and sent its stocks and indexes south for a bit. The Fed Chairwoman wouldn’t offer up a time-table on any plans to raise short-term interest rates and still wants help from the Central Bank. “The economic outlook is very uncertain,” she said. Ugh. Not exactly the words you want to hear from the Fed. She also was not moved by the improving unemployment numbers yet she wasn’t too concerned about the slightly increasing inflation. “We have seen false dawn,” Yellen said, probably not meaning to be as dramatically poetic as the statement sounded. She’salso not too happy about the housing sector and again inadvertently sounded slightly poetic when she referred to the biotechs and social media sector as “stretched.” She apparently feels their stock values are very un-poetically inflated.

Bank’d

Image courtesy of 2nix/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of 2nix/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The country’s second largest bank (by assets), the almost indomitable JP Morgan Chase graced the world with its second quarter earnings today. It beat Wall Street’s predictions. Yay! But wait a minute…its earnings and revenue both took a dive this year with an 8% decline in second quarter profit which I know has you all broken up inside. The bank’s shares gained $1.46 a share when Wall Street predicted $1.29 but its revenue fell $5.99 billion from $6.5 billion a year ago. Just like its banking pal Citigroup – who also released its earnings yesterday and also reached a multi-billion dollar settlement with the Department of Justice over its bad mortgage practices – JP Morgan Chase saw its trading revenue fall.

Unbeatable?

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I double dare you to go to your local pharmacy/supermarket with your full shopping list in hand and try NOT to walk out with a brand that isn’t part of the Johnson & Johnson family. Or then again, don’t bother because it simply is not possible. The company owns…well everything. Almost. Which explains why its second quarter earnings trumped Street estimates jumping 9% in its revenue to $19.5 billion and gaining 13% on its profits. Sure sales of stuff like Tylenol and baby oil helped. And don’t forget about Neutrogena and Aveno (yeah, it owns those as well). But Johnson & Johnson also made some nice chunks of cash with help from its Hepatitis C drugs Olysio and Sovarid. Yeah it has those too.

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Twitter Tries to Up Its Game, Olive Garden Not Blooming and BofA Wants Quality Time With the Attorney General

Tweeting it all out…

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Twitter just announced plans to snap up SnappyTV for an undisclosed amount. SnappyTV is a video sharing service where users can do all sorts of convenient and entertaining things like clip and share videos. Twitter is forging ahead with great big plans to integrate SnappyTV and all the visual enhancements it is bringing with it into Twitter Amplify. And really, who doesn’t love visual enhancements?  The social media company is in a mad crush and rush to grow its user base after announcing a less than 6% increase in growth. Numbers like that did less than wow investors and so it is on a mission to find ways to justify its high valuation that many have been calling into question.

Darden leaves Wall Street hungry for more…

Image courtesy of Feelart/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Feelart/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Darden Restaurants, the apparently not so forceful force behind the Olive Garden chain, failed to feed enough people and beat analysts expectation. Despite its efforts to dump the Red Lobster chain, the company’s profit wasn’t as high as Wall Street would have liked. Revenue for the period ending in May was a paltry $2.32 billion. But the hard-to-please Street was looking for $2.33 billion in revenue. Even though the company gained $0.84 a share, Wall Street was left unsatisfied and wishing for $0.10 more per share. The company and its food offerings is having a hard time competing with fast-food establishments that have been offering better quality food with more affordable prices. As a result, Darden’s net income fell a whopping 35% from a year earlier.

BofA feeling unsettled…

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Looks like Bank of America CEO Brian Moynihan wants to spend some quality time with US Attorney General Eric Holder. But bonding is not on the agenda. Instead, the BofA CEO wants to try and hash out the kinks over settlement issues. BofA, the second largest bank in the United States sold some really bad loans a few years back, in case you hadn’t heard. Now the time has come to pay for all the trouble it caused and the price tag on all that trouble is going to cost billions of dollars. Reps for the bank and reps for the Justice Department already had a bunch of meetings to try and reach an agreement. But the two sides just couldn’t play nice. So Moynihan probably took a cue from JP Morgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon, who also personally met with Holder in back in November where the two sides emerged with a $13 billion settlement agreement. While the move seemed peculiar at the time, the fact is that it worked and the formula has been used with other naughty banks that helped cause the epic 2008 financial crisis.