Ford Looks to Boost Profits With Layoffs; Twitter Sequel: The Return of Biz; Avocados Will Not Make You Rich!

Slash and burn…

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Today’s job-slashing news is brought to us by Ford Motors. The automotive company, which employs about 200,000 people worldwide, plans to cut about 10% of its salaried workforce. Apparently, the job cutting efforts are simply part of a $3 billion cost cutting program. What Ford is really hoping to accomplish is to keep its stock from from getting too close to a five-year low and boost profits at the same time. Ford released an official statement today and made sure to talk a lot about priorities, profit and growth. Curiously enough, however, no mention was made about job cuts. Wonder what that’s all about. If it’s any consolation, rumor has it that Ford is offering generous early retirement incentives to some of the aforementioned salaried workers. However what generous and incentives actually mean remains to be seen. In any case, CEO Mark Fields, who came on board back in July, wants people to know that the folks over at Ford “are as frustrated as you are by the stock price.” Fields in particular must be awfully frustrated considering that the stock has dropped over 35% since he took the CEO reins.

Let’s get Biz-y with it…

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Amidst a throng of high-level departures comes a potential bright spot for Twitter – the return of co-founder Biz Stone, six years after he left. In a Medium post he wrote that he’s returning to the embattled social media company for the purpose of “filling the ‘Biz-shaped hole.'” Yup. He said that. He went on to say, “You might even say the job description includes being Biz Stone.” Yup. He said that too. Biz wants to guide company culture, feeling and energy, and Twitter could definitely use help in all three of those categories. Besides, it’s not like Biz had anything else going on these days since he just sold his latest start-up to Pinterest for an undisclosed sum. You got that? An undisclosed sum. (I have no definitive idea of what that means.) As for Jack Dorsey, another co-founder and current Twitter CEO, Biz counts him as “his closest friend.” At Twitter anyway. Wall Street seems to be thrilled about Biz Stone’s return as well, sending the stock up over 2%. Twitter’s stock will take any boost it can get these days. And according to Stone, and presumably President Trump, “The world needs Twitter, and it’s here to stay.”

It’s the pits…

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Today is not a good day for the avocado industry. It seems Australian millionaire Tim Gurner said during an interview on Australia’s “60 Minutes” to ditch the avocados if you want to buy a house. It’s not that Gurner has anything against the green-fleshed delicacy. Only that Millennials should focus on saving their money towards purchasing a home and accumulating wealth instead of spending $19 on pricey avocado sandwiches. See the connection? Neither did plenty of Twitter users.  On Twitter @kalebhorton wrote: “Alright, I did the math. If I stopped eating avocado toast every day, I would be able to afford a bad house in Los Angeles in 642 years.” Foghorn Greghorn tweeted: “Avocado Toast $6.50 Data $150 House $650,000 Utility $150 someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this my family is dying.” But maybe Gurner’s onto something. After all, he is a real estate tycoon with an estimated $460 million. And I bet he owns lots of homes.