That’s All Folks: Yahoo Rides Off Into the Sunset; Uber Drama; Trump’s Attempts at Flattery; It’s Raining Tacos and Cheesecake Today

And that’s a wrap…


Image courtesy of renjith krishnan/

Sometimes goodbyes are hard and sometimes goodbyes are worth $23 million. At least that’s the case for Marissa Mayer, who will be collecting that much cash now that Verizon’s $4.5 billion acquisition of Yahoo is a done deal. Gosh, imagine what she’d be collecting if she were asked to stay on board. In any case, Yahoo will now melt into the AOL vortex and together they will morph in a new entity profoundly named Oath. However, once that happens, over 2,000 employees can expect to kiss their jobs goodbye. The last itty bitty remaining pieces of Yahoo will be named Altaba in homage to the fact that it is primarily a holding company for Yahoo’s sizable stake in the Chinese e-commerce site Alibaba.

Other highlights from today…


Image courtesy of James Barker/

  • It’s official: Uber CEO Travis Kalanick needs to compose his out-of-office reply. A management group will be established to run the show in his absence and when he returns he’ll be stripped of some of his duties. As for his return date, that is yet to be determined. It appears that he wont be missed that much. In the meantime, Uber now needs to come up with an effective system to tackle HR complaints. That might take awhile seeing as how the company is pretty much starting from scratch in that area.
  • In a meeting with Federal Reserve Chair Janet Yellen, President Trump said to her that he thinks she’s a “low-interest person” like himself. Which is ironic since during his campaign he had plenty of criticism for the Fed because it kept those rates low. He also said he “likes her” and “respects her” which could mean anything and nothing when you’re President Donald Trump. Naturally, the Fed declined to comment, all while rumors swirl that it is expected to raise short-term interest rates for the fourth time in two years.
  • Go out and get yourself a free taco today. A Doritos Locos Taco, to be more specific. It’s on the house. At least at Taco Bell. The fast-food chain is being generous because the Golden State Warriors “stole” game 3 from the Cleveland Cavs. Naturally, it’s all part of a promotion, in this case the one that goes “Steal a Game, Steal a Taco.” Whatever. It’s free food.
  • Shares of Cheesecake Factory took a beating today because of Mother Nature. No, really. Apparently, because of some bad weather, customers near locations in the East and Midwest couldn’t enjoy enough “patio time” whilst eating copious amounts of cheesecake, thereby negatively affecting sales. And just like you, the analysts didn’t buy that excuse either.

A Green Giant Farewell; Mobile-ads: Verizon Set to Unleash Service; Everything Is Fiscally Awesome at Lego

Yo ho ho…

Image courtesy of  Mister GC/

Image courtesy of Mister GC/

It’s time for the Jolly Green Giant to pack his bags. Together with Le Sueur, the two brands are getting some new digs over at B&G Foods, home to favorites such as Cream of Wheat and snack sensation Pirate’s Booty (a personal fave). B&G is paying $765 million in cash for the joy of adding the oversized brand symbol to its coffers and is expecting the Giant and his 160 plus products to bring in net sales of over half a billion, adding 60 cents per share. Jolly Green Giant and Le Suer are currently under General Mills, however, the maker of  Cheerios has been noting a shift in consumer preferences and has decided now would be a good time to unload the two companies. Apparently, shoppers are preferring fresher selections, as opposed to the sauce laden and frozen offerings that Green Giant and Le Sueur crank out. General Mills, which also has Yoplait yogurt, will now focus its efforts – and of course, money – into cultivating its brands and geographical locations that have more potential. It will also put a bit more oomph into some edible health and wellness endeavors. Which basically means it will shift gears to whatever products and areas will bring in the most amounts of cash. Sounds fair.

You’ve got ad-sales…

Image courtesy of twobee/

Image courtesy of twobee/

AOL (remember them?) also did a little shopping today picking up Maryland-based Millennial Media Inc. to the tune of $250 million to broaden its mobile-ad market share. At that price, the company was bought for $1.75 a share, a 31% premium to its closing price on Wednesday. Millenial took in almost $300 million in sales with an $83 million net loss last year. Verizon Communications Inc picked up AOL back in June for a trifle $4 billion, in an attempt to beef up its mobile ad technology, something at which AOL apparently excels. Verizon AOL now has big plans to challenge Facebook and Google (is that even possible?) who currently reign supreme over the mobile-ad market, and unleash its own mobile streaming video service called Go90.

Brick by brick…

Image courtesy of ArtJSan/

Image courtesy of ArtJSan/

Lego may not be a publicly traded company, but the company sure manages to pull in some boffo numbers, even surpassing Mattel as the world’s largest toymaker. Which is particularly insane since it only makes…well, Lego.  And while Mattel’s Barbie, Hot Wheel and Fisher-Price products still have sway, those toys, can’t seem to get a plastic leg up on Lego’s mesmerizing Ninjas and elves and…well, everything else. In fact, Mattel’s revenue fell almost 5% to $1.91 billion, with unwelcome help from Barbie and company. Lego, however, benefitted from foreign currency swings, not to mention a boost from The Lego Movie. The Danish company scored 3.55 billion Danish kroner, which translates to $537.5 million in the first half of the year and took in a 31% jump in profits. The company’s revenue also rose 23% to $14.14 billion. And there’s no reason to forecast that theses numbers won’t continue to rise. With a new Star wars movie coming out, which always does a fine job of boosting Lego sales, and a new video game, Lego Dimensions, due out late September, the toy company’s outlook is nothing but rosy.

Marijuana Score With Venture Capital Firm; Global Economic Issues Make For Happier Borrowers; Is Yahoo CEO’s Head on the Chopping Block?

Gone to pot…

Image courtesy of Paul/

Image courtesy of Paul/

It just keeps getting better and better for Marijuana. Privateer Holdings, a private equity firm whose focus happens to be on the cannabis industry, just got a major cash infusion from a venture capital firm. But this is not just any venture capital firm, either. The one and only Peter Thiel, billionaire, and partner at venture capital firm, Founders Fund, just handed Brendan Kennedy, CEO and co-founder of Privateer Holdings millions upon millions of dollars to be a part of the cannabis magic.  Privateer Holdings, if you recall (and it’s okay if you don’t) scored a huge 30 year licensing deal with the family of Bob Marley to manufacture Jamaican cannabis strains and hemp-infused products for the Marley Natural brand. It’s an epic move by Founders Fund, and an even better one for Privateer Holdings because it marks the first time a major institutional investor invests in the marijuana industry. Recognizing that this is a relatively new industry with countless untapped resources and opportunities, and marijuana legalization occurring in 23 states and counting, Founders Funds figures its a great strategic move. I suspect Founders Fund knows what they’re doing seeing as how it invested in a few other companies you might have heard about including Facebook, Airbnb and SpaceX.

 Mortgage sweet mortgage…

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles/

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles/

Not that it’s polite to rejoice at the expense of our overseas friends and their fiscal shortcomings  – a veritable global schadenfraude – but their fickle unreliable little Euro and falling oil prices are doing wonders for our mortgage rates over here. Indeed, mortgage rates are dropping because other parts of the world are experiencing economic issues, and those issues are making investors eager to cozy up to the relative warmth and fuzziness of US government bonds. When investors start cozying up to these bonds, mortgage rates keep falling and falling and…In any case, if you’re looking to take out a mortgage, this week you can get one at a rate of 3.73% on a 30 year fixed. That’s not only down from 3.87% the week before but it’s the lowest rate it’s been in over a year and a half. Looking for a 15 year instead? How does 3.05% sound. That figure is also down from last week’s 3.15%. Clearly a lot of potential homebuyer’s are getting the memo on these falling mortgage rates as loan applications were up by 11% last week.

Can’t you take a hint?

Image courtesy of digital art/

Image courtesy of digital art/

In a not so subtle hint, Starboard Value Chief Jeff Smith told Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer in a letter that, “Should you instead choose to proceed down a different path … such actions would be a clear indication to us that significant leadership change is required at Yahoo.” The path to which Mr. Smith is referring is if Ms. Mayer decides to pick up CNN or another cable outlet instead of taking his suggestion of merging with AOL for the benefit of the “cost synergies” this merger would bring. By the way, Starboard owns 7.7 million shares of Yahoo. Also, by the way, Starboard owns shares of AOL, as well. Lastly, by the way, Starboard famously (notoriously?) chucked the board of Darden Restaurents, of Olive Garden fame, last year.