That’s All Folks: Yahoo Rides Off Into the Sunset; Uber Drama; Trump’s Attempts at Flattery; It’s Raining Tacos and Cheesecake Today

And that’s a wrap…

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Image courtesy of renjith krishnan/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Sometimes goodbyes are hard and sometimes goodbyes are worth $23 million. At least that’s the case for Marissa Mayer, who will be collecting that much cash now that Verizon’s $4.5 billion acquisition of Yahoo is a done deal. Gosh, imagine what she’d be collecting if she were asked to stay on board. In any case, Yahoo will now melt into the AOL vortex and together they will morph in a new entity profoundly named Oath. However, once that happens, over 2,000 employees can expect to kiss their jobs goodbye. The last itty bitty remaining pieces of Yahoo will be named Altaba in homage to the fact that it is primarily a holding company for Yahoo’s sizable stake in the Chinese e-commerce site Alibaba.

Other highlights from today…

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Image courtesy of James Barker/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

  • It’s official: Uber CEO Travis Kalanick needs to compose his out-of-office reply. A management group will be established to run the show in his absence and when he returns he’ll be stripped of some of his duties. As for his return date, that is yet to be determined. It appears that he wont be missed that much. In the meantime, Uber now needs to come up with an effective system to tackle HR complaints. That might take awhile seeing as how the company is pretty much starting from scratch in that area.
  • In a meeting with Federal Reserve Chair Janet Yellen, President Trump said to her that he thinks she’s a “low-interest person” like himself. Which is ironic since during his campaign he had plenty of criticism for the Fed because it kept those rates low. He also said he “likes her” and “respects her” which could mean anything and nothing when you’re President Donald Trump. Naturally, the Fed declined to comment, all while rumors swirl that it is expected to raise short-term interest rates for the fourth time in two years.
  • Go out and get yourself a free taco today. A Doritos Locos Taco, to be more specific. It’s on the house. At least at Taco Bell. The fast-food chain is being generous because the Golden State Warriors “stole” game 3 from the Cleveland Cavs. Naturally, it’s all part of a promotion, in this case the one that goes “Steal a Game, Steal a Taco.” Whatever. It’s free food.
  • Shares of Cheesecake Factory took a beating today because of Mother Nature. No, really. Apparently, because of some bad weather, customers near locations in the East and Midwest couldn’t enjoy enough “patio time” whilst eating copious amounts of cheesecake, thereby negatively affecting sales. And just like you, the analysts didn’t buy that excuse either.
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Yahoo’s Marissa Mayer’s Expensive Goodbye; Intel Revs it Up on Self-Driving Cars; Another Sporting Goods Chain Throws in the Towel

Yah-who?

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Well the good news is that Marissa Mayer will get to add $23 million to her bank account. And who wouldn’t like to see their bank account get a deposit like that? The bad news is that the $23 million is part of her severance package from Yahoo. At least that’s what a regulatory filing indicated. And no one seems to know – and if they do, they are not talking – whether Ms. Mayer will be staying with the remaining entities of Yahoo that Verizon is buying. The parts of the company that Verizon is not buying will eventually be formed into a new company called Altaba, to be headed by Thomas J. McInerney. If you recall, Verizon got to cut $350 million from the final purchase price of $4.5 billion because of Yahoo’s fiscally disastrous data breach. Verizon’s feelings were that Yahoo execs didn’t quite “properly comprehend or investigate” those breaches that affected hundreds of millions of people. At this point, feel free to get a little more colorful in rephrasing that last bit with your own words and thoughts. Especially if you are a Yahoo account holder. The data breach also cost Ms. Mayer her own 2016 cash bonus of up to $2 million. However, to her credit, she did graciously gave up her bonus and equity grants for 2017.

Start me up…

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Intel just threw down over $15 billion to buy Israeli tech company, Mobileye NV.  What,  might you be wondering, is so special about this particular tech company that had a chip-maker eager to plunk down a 30% premium of $63.54 per share? Self-driving cars, which you may or may not realize, are all the rage these days. And since Mobileye already commands 70% of the global market for driver-assistance and anti-collision  technology, this acquisition seemed like an awfully prudent way for Intel to break into that industry in a very big way. So I think we can all agree that even though this was Intel’s most expensive purchase of any single company, it was totally worth it. I suppose Mobileye would have to agree as well, since its own stock went up a very substantial 30% on this latest news.

Another one bites the dust…

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Image courtesy of Stuart Miles/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Just when you thought you’d seen the last of the sporting goods chains bankruptcies, along comes Gander Mountain to remind us that, alas, those days are far from their bitter end. The Minnesota-based company will follow the unfortunate fiscal footsteps of Sports Authority, Golfsmith and about ten other retailers from the last year or so, and shutter over 30 of its 162 stores. Fierce online competition led to less traffic in stores and too much merchandise on the shelves. Around 1,300 employees will be affected by the closures, but will apparently have an opportunity to be relocated to locations that aren’t floundering. Yet, anyway.