Deutsche Bank CEO’s are Leaving Early and No One is Shedding Tears; McDonald’s Numbers Not Totally Horrible; Smack Talk at the G7 Summit

You’re Fitschen kidding me…

Image courtesy of biosphere/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of biosphere/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

In case you were wondering how Wall Street feels about Deutsche Bank’s outgoing co-CEO’s Anshu Jain and Juergen Fitschen, then just look at the company’s stock price. Shares of Deustche Bank gleefully shot up over 8% at one point, on the news that the two men would be ditching their digs even earlier than planned. However, those gains weren’t just from the sheer joy of those early departures but also because investors totally dig their replacement, British banker John Cryan, who also happens to have a pretty decent track record. Cryan is what the cool kids call a “takeover specialist” which is something Deutsche Bank could use now more than ever seeing as how Jain and Fitschen couldn’t seem to stem the tide of legal issues that have been plaguing the bank, including a massive $2.5 settlement claim the bank had to fork over after some traders very rudely – and illegally, I might add – rigged some benchmark interest rates. In fact, most of Deutsche Bank’s troubles and scandals seemed to to come out of its investment bank, which coincidentally, was/is under Jain’s watch. The question remains as to whether or not Cryan can pull the largest German bank out of its funk. Except, first he’s got to come up with a plan. At least he speaks German. So score one for Cryan.

You deserve a break today…

Image courtesy of  atibodyphoto/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of atibodyphoto/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Things at McDonald’s weren’t nearly as bad as everyone thought they were going to be. They weren’t great but we’ll get to that. The Golden Arches saw same store sales drop .3% , which is definitely not good. However, at least those sales didn’t drop by .9%, the figure expected by all those super-educated analysts. To that I say booyah.  And then there was Europe. While everywhere else on the planet McDonald’s saw sales fall, McDonald’s needs to give much danke to Germany, France and the UK who showed the burger chain some major love in the form of a 2.3% gain. Analysts only expected Europe to bring in a tres  modest .6% gain. So you see, Chipotle, Panera and Shake Shack haven’t taken over the fast-food world. Yet. McDonald’s is in the midst of bringing about a “turnaround plan” which apparently includes offering breakfast all day. Except that’s only in – where else? – Southern California. Also, as part of the plan to reclaim its rightful place in the fast-food kingdom, CEO and President Steve Easterbrook has big lofty plans to rebrand McDonald’s as “a modern, progressive burger company.” Did you get all that?

Back at the G7 Summit…

Image courtesy of bplanet/Freedigitalphotos.net

Image courtesy of bplanet/Freedigitalphotos.net

There seems to be a bit of confusion coming from the G7 Summit. A French official told reporters that President Obama said the strong dollar is a “problem.” Then, the dollar slid against the euro. However, President Obama insists, “I did not say that.” But, still, the dollar still slipped, for the first time in three days, against the euro. In any case, other important stuff was presumably discussed at the conference where world leaders from the United States, Germany, France, Britain, Italy, Japan and even Canada talked about fiscal issues that are plaguing the world. But who doesn’t love a good “he said, he said,”  especially during a super important meeting between the world’s most powerful people. I could really see this one playing out on South Park.

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