Avon and Wall Street Get Punk’d But Ashton Kutcher’s Not Behind This One; Shake Shack Nails Some Juicy Earnings; Kohl’s is Just Not Good Enough

It’s not the Avon Lady…

Image courtesy of winnond/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of winnond/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

So here’s a weird thing that happened on Wall Street today. Trading for the Avon company, based in the U.K. (no that’s not the weird thing) was halted three times all because of a prank filing. It’s like a prank call. Only incredibly stupider and much more serious. Like the kind of serious that is going to require legal representation once the moron who did it is caught. Some person/entity group, calling itself PTG Capital Partners, filed an $8 billion takeover bid with Federal regulators for the company, once famous for its now defunct door to door sales ladies. If you thought $8 billion seems like a lot for Avon, you aren’t the only one, because that comes out to more than triple its stock value. When the SEC posted this filing to its website, shares became volatile and trading stopped – more than a couple of times. Beside the fact that the filing was one big grammatical mess – a major red flag – calls made to the phone number listed went unanswered – another major red flag. A Texas address for the firm’s attorney, Michael Trose, was also listed and while the address is real, the building’s manager said there was never any tenant by that name – yes, red flag number three. Even though Avon has had three straight years of losses, the stock was a bit higher, presumably from all the drama surrounding it today.

Would you like fries with that?

Image courtesy of rakvatchada torsap/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of rakvatchada torsap/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

After brutally beating its earnings, Shake Shack shares (alliteration, anyone?) are up today and at one point took a 10% leap. The burger un-joint pulled down revenues of $37.8 million, a 56% increase with a 4 cent per share profit, when analysts only expected the company to pull in 3 cents per share and $34 million in revenue. Maybe those “analysts” should start taking their lunches at Shake Shack and see for themselves. If you recall, the Shake Shack IPO was priced at $21 and as of today, the stock is more than triple that, coming in close to $70. While the naysayers scoff at the high value of the stock, its earnings seem to justify the price of the shares. So there. Even diners outside of New York City are digging the grub at the eatery as evidenced by a 12% increase in same store sales. But it wouldn’t be right if we didn’t mention how some of those impressive earnings were helped by the fact that Shake Shack raised its prices on a few “select” items. Expect to see more “Shacks” as the company has plans to open up 15 more locations, with five of those outside of the U.S. So I guess you could say Shake Shack nailed it. This quarter anyway.

On the other hand…

Image courtesy of jscreationzs/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of jscreationzs/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Kohl’s took a Wall Street beating today on the news of its earnings miss. Shares of the retailer tumbled all the way down 10% at one point.  The company, which has over 1,100 stores, actually made a lot of money this quarter. Way more money than Shake Shack, in fact. The company pulled down $4.12 billion in sales and took home a $127 million profit at 63 cents per share when analysts only called for a 55 cent profit. Sounds impressive, right. But for those finicky analysts, those numbers, like my grades in high school, were just not good enough. You see, all those billions and millions that Kohl’s raked in were not enough to offset the fact that its sales were up only 1.3%. The harsh reality is that those very same finicky analysts expected the company to earn sales of $4.19 billion. Hence, the drop in price of shares.

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One response to “Avon and Wall Street Get Punk’d But Ashton Kutcher’s Not Behind This One; Shake Shack Nails Some Juicy Earnings; Kohl’s is Just Not Good Enough

  1. Pingback: Subway Follows the Crowd; Sale Away: Cheap Southwest Fares Extended; SEC Wants to Take Down the Avon Pranker | Pujonomics.

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