Nothing Luxurious About Coach’s Earnings; Just Ship It; Can It Get Any Better for Apple?

Not on trend…

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Consumers just aren’t feeling the love for Coach, at least in the United States, as evidenced by its third quarter earnings. Those earnings can best be described as short on style and long on disappointment, as sales here took a nasty 24% dive to $493 million. Last year at this time sales hit $648 million in the U.S. As for the rest of the world, the company saw sales plunge 15% to $929 million, a far cry from the $949 million analysts were predicting. It wouldn’t be right not to put some of the blame on the strong U.S. dollar. After all, it’s the thing to do these days. But that excuse can only go so far. At least Coach managed to beat Wall Street’s profit expectations by a whole penny. Yeah you read that right. Coach’s net income came in at $81.1 million and 36 cents per share. That figure might have been somewhat impressive if not for the fact that last year at this time Coach saw a profit that was more than double at $191 million and 68 cents per share. The leather goods company better hope its $547 million Stuart Weitzman acquisition pays off as Coach has some very unflattering plans to shut down 43 shops and twelve outlets.

Brown paper packages tied up with string…

Image courtesy of tigger11th/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of tigger11th/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

You know whose earnings didn’t suck? Hint: Brown delivery trucks. Indeed, UPS delivered some very impressive digits, which is especially awesome considering the hit it took during the holiday season. Just how impressive were these earnings? Well, the company took in $14 billion worth of revenue, a 1.4% increase from last year. That’s a lot of packages. Actually, it’s about 1.1 billion packages, 2.8% more than last year, to be precise. Unfortunately, Wall Street analysts actually expected more from the shipping company and hoped it would reach $14.3 billion. But, oh well. No one seems to be too upset since UPS managed to score $1 billion in profits at $1.12 per share, easily taking down analyst estimates of $1.09 per share. Last year at this time UPS saw a profit of $911 million with 98 cents per share. The tricky part, however, is that even though the stock is up 14% from a year ago, it is still down 11% for the year. Strange how that works out.

Keeps getting better and better and…

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Apple has done it again. Yawn. The iPhone/iPad/Master of the Universe reported another epic quarter of earnings that leave just about every single other company – in the world – green with envy. With $58 billion in sales, Apple scored $13.8 billion in profits adding a very plump $2.33 per share. I guess that’s what happens when you sell 61 million iPhones. For those lucky enough to own shares of the company, their dividends went up too. The company is oozing money  – like, $194 billion of it – with $33 billion of it just in cold hard cash and the rest in investments, which, knowing Apple, will pay off handsomely. Oh, and did I mention the stock hit a new high? Well, I just did. All this, and the Apple watch barely hit the market. Have you ordered yours yet? They’re going for between $349 – $17,000. That ought to make Apple’s next earnings report a bit more interesting.

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